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Negativity

Last week I got my first negative comment on this blog. I think what stunned me the most about it was that it was over something I wrote about my dog. My. Dog. I didn’t realize dogs were controversial, but apparently, mine makes me a self-centered, entitled—wait for it—dog lover. Gasp! I’m slightly paraphrasing but that’s the gist of it.

I know that’s a stupid thing for me to get upset about, but I was surprised that a random dude would find this blog, take the time to read a post, make a snap judgment about me and go out of his way to say something nasty. I don’t understand people sometimes. It takes more effort to be cruel than it does to not. What’s the point?

Here’s the thing about my dog, though. And this is why that douche bag’s comment stung. I don’t have kids. And I’m not going to have kids. Sometimes there’s a bit of a void because of that and she fills that. I know you can’t compare pets with children, but as far as I’m concerned, my dog is my child. It’s not really as pathetic as it probably sounds.

There’s no way that guy could have known any of this. But that’s sort of my point. He doesn’t know anything about me—just the bits and pieces I choose to reveal. I guess some people are so miserable that they get off being rude to people they don’t even know.

Lesley and I have had conversations about closing comments on our blogs. Both of us started to write for mostly personal reasons, but we are putting it out there for people to read, and getting feedback goes with the territory. I totally understand that every time I post something, someone will have a reaction—positive, negative or indifferent. Obviously, the positive, supportive comments feel great. It inspires me when I engage someone in a topic. And I don’t even mind if someone disagrees with something I put out there. That’s life. But just like in real life, I don’t have to put up with assholes. At first I wrote a nasty response, and then I decided to delete it and the negative comment.

I’m curious, what what other bloggers do? Do you respond? If so, how? Or do you let it go? Do you delete?

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4 Responses

  1. I love that you put this out there. This couldn’t have been easy to write and yet you did it perfectly. That dude WAS a douchebag and you took the high road…as opposed to me who just wanted to go onto his blog and rip his sh*t to shreds.

    The comment part is hard for me…because I can be overly sensitive (WIMP) and I also don’t want people to feel OBLIGATED to comment. That’s never the case as I’m just thrilled anyone would take the time to even READ me! I’ll be interested to hear what experienced bloggers have to say on this subject. Debra? XUP? Heehee.

    Keep hanging tough, sister!
    xoxo

  2. I respond. If someone wants to be a jack ass on my blog, they can feel free to do so. Typically everyone will jump right down his/her throat right before I get a chance.

    Here, I’ll give you an example. Check out Bruce’s comment: http://catherinette.wordpress.com/2008/04/19/i-need-a-witness/

  3. I look forward to the occasional jackass — it breaks up the usual chain of witty, informative, fun, intelligent comments I get. I totally leave the jackass’ comment where it is and then have great fun writing a response worthy of his jackassedness. It’s a great opportunity to unleash my evil, nasty bitingly sarcastic self. Then I feel good. Whatever you do, don’t take the jackass comment personally.

  4. The only jackass comments I’ve received have been from a guy I know “in real life”. He and I have somewhat of a ‘history’ so I don’t take offense. I know he’s just trying to make himself feel better. And I always get the upper hand because I comment right back and either a) call him on being a jackass in front of everyone so he feels like an idiot or b) act sickeningly sweet towards him so he feels like crap. Either way, I win. 🙂

    And what XUP said…don’t ever take it personally. Some people just lead sad pathetic little lives and jackassedness is the only thing they have to bring themselves pleasure.

    We can just be glad we are all above that. 🙂

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