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That’s 3,285 Days. But Who’s Counting?

My wedding anniversary is today. Bill and I have been married for nine years (we’ve been together for 13). It’s a long time. 3,285 days to be exact. Well, maybe not exact because I think there was a leap year or two in there somewhere. We got married 4 days after my 30th birthday so Bill likes to joke that he save me from becoming an old maid. Chivalrous of him, right?! Some days nine years feels like a major accomplishment, some days it feels like a drop in the bucket, some days it feels like time has flown by too quickly, and other days it feels like it’s been a struggle. But when Bill proposed he promised that I would never be bored married to him, and he wasn’t kidding.

Bill has three sons and, frankly, step-parenting is probably the most thankless job around. Fortunately, most of the boys were a little older when Bill and I started dating, so I think it was probably easier than it could have been. Over the years, a couple of the boys rotated in and out of our house, and one of them was pretty easy to live with. The other, not so much. Not even remotely easy. Difficult would be an understatement. It really tested our marriage. But we got through it. A few years ago, both of Bill’s parents became ill and passed away within a year and a half of each other. That kind of sadness and depression could dismantle a marriage pretty easily, but somehow we got through that, too. And we’ve endured job changes, careers going in new directions, kids moving out and kids moving to different parts of the country. We’ve survived a close family member needing intervention and ultimately rehab. We’ve had a granddaughter, and now we’re in the middle of a what began as a kitchen renovation but has become a much bigger more involved project than that.

But even when we were deep in the bowels of hell, even when I didn’t see an end to the chaos, even when I considered running screaming from the house every single day, I didn’t. I stayed because even with all the baggage, even with all the bullshit and drama, I knew that this man is the only man that I’d want by my side every day no matter what. I’m pretty sure we can get through anything if we’re together.

I used to have a fantasy of what the perfect marriage should be. Picket fences aside, I had visions of googley-eyed happiness and fiery romance every day. And don’t forget the wine and roses. But the reality is so much different—yet so much better than I could have ever imagined. There’s romance and happiness, but I’ve realized that how you deal with problems and obstacles together that really matters. Bill and I make a pretty good team. We balance each other out and we have a lot of fun. Even when the shit has hit the fan and splattered all over the walls, we can always make each other laugh. And, for us, that’s the secret.

I am so happy to have spent the last 9 years married to this man. And I can’t wait to spend many, many more with him.

Happy anniversary, Bill!


6 Responses

  1. ** Gaaaaaagggggg **

    HA! NOT REALLY!!! I actually think this is a beautiful post because it’s full of grit and honesty and reality. It’s love in the real sense – not just all the pretty hearts and flowers.

    I love you guys so much (DUH) and have always admired the way you just weather anything and everything together. In my current situation, that is more than inspiring to me. You guys are a rock to me in so many more ways than you could ever know. I am honored to know you and be allowed to share a part of your lives. You’re family to me.


    (Let the countdown to the Elvis Wedding Chapel begin…)

  2. Awww, you make me almost want to run out and get married. If only there were some sort of online dating thing one could join to find the perfect mate and all it would take would be a questionnaire and some money…. But really, congratulations to both of you and many, many more

  3. XUP: I know. I think I read some great things about eHarmony somewhere. (Gag!)

  4. Happy anniversary. You sound like you can do more years with Bill. Keep the faith!!!

  5. Sorry I’m late — Hope it was a great day! Happy Anniversary and many, many more!

  6. XUP: You kill me.

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