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Horror-Scope (aka, the lamest post EVER!)

I like to read my horoscope periodically. There’s one website in particular, “Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone,” that I’ll read at the beginning of every month. She offers a great deal of insight into the upcoming month, and her predictions or whatever you want to call them are usually right on. I don’t live and die by this stuff (although I do have a Virgo symbol tattooed on my shoulder), but I’m always intrigued by how often she is right on target. So it freaks me out when I read things like the following:

You seem especially somber about life in general and may also be concerned about a man in your life or other setback: September 3.

—Or—

Something seems to be festering, however, and when an unexpected comment or situation arises on Friday, September 12, you’ll find yourself in the middle of a crisis. By the full moon in Pisces, September 15 (operative for four days), you will have to decide quickly whether to separate temporarily, fix things for the future, or end things without looking back. Truly, this will be a defining moment. To make matters more complicated, not only is a partner involved with the situation, but also so is a friend.

—Or—

Brace for difficult, unexpected news in regard to a close relationship: September 12 and near the full moon, September 15.”

What the hell does all this mean?

What’s disturbing to me is the fact, that yesterday, September 3, to say I was “somber” would have been an understatement. There are definitely some setbacks that I’m fighting, and some days it’s just a struggle to get by. And make no mistake, I definitely feel like I’m just getting by.

So you can imagine, the last thing I need is to find myself “in the middle of a crisis” with something “festering.” And I sure as shit can’t deal with any “unexpected news” especially if it’s in regard to a “close relationship.”

I’m exhausted—physically and mentally. There’s so much going on that I won’t discuss here — I have draw the line with certain topics — and it just grinds on me. I’m not making any headway on certain things and I’m at a loss. I have never felt as unbalanced (not mentally, although Lesley might debate that) as I do now. I can not get out of my head and I’m becoming my own worst enemy.

I’m such a control freak and I can’t just let things happen. It’s not in my nature to go with the flow. I need to orchestrate. I need to plan. I need to think things through 35 steps ahead, which of course, bogs me so far down in the details, the minutia, that I can’t see what’s directly in front of me. I’m obsessed. Preoccupied. Consumed. Fixated. And it’s fucking me up. I have been trying to hold it together the past few days with duct tape and super glue, and I can’t even stand myself anymore.

Of course, if I had a positive, happy, life rocks kind of horoscope, I probably wouldn’t be doing so much deep (um, yeah, deep as a shallow puddle) introspection. What came first: The horoscope or the meltdown?!

I know this post doesn’t make any sense. But I had to just throw a few thoughts out into the blogoverse so I can start processing some things.

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2 Responses

  1. Here’s the thing for me with horoscopes (HORROR-scopes): When you step back from them, they really are vague and applicable to anyone in any circumstance. Reading a horoscope too closely (for me) runs the risk of doing that dangerous thing that is creating self-fulfilling prophecy. Instead of finding the prediction fits your life, you tend to find ways to make your life fit the prediction. Then suddenly? The prediction seems brilliant and full of foresight.

    Honestly, in most cases this is okay and totally fun! But if you’re going through a tough patch and are already on the edge…I would just avoid ’em! I don’t think the horoscope created the meltdown (in response to your which came first question!) but I think it has the power to amp up the meltdown and who needs THAT? You forge your own path and destiny, sister. Nothing is pre-ordained in the stars. The power is ALL in YOUR hands, girlie girl. It always has been and it always will be.

    XOXO

  2. I never read my horror-scope. No, let me correct that — I never read my future horror-scopes. I do, however, read some in the past (not often but whenever I happen across one). You know what? They have never applied to my life. But I bet if I read a future one, I could ‘make’ it work. Like Lesley said, don’t let it become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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