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You Know You Watch Too Much Reality TV When…

I watch a lot of reality TV. A lot. I’m not proud of it, but I’m not entirely embarrassed about it either. I work hard and every night sometimes I need to flop in front of the boob tube and watch some truly spectacular crap. I’m not stupid, I’m not vapid, I’m not shallow, and it’s not like this is all I watch (and, yes, I do read) but, to me, reality TV is like a good cocktail on a Friday night. It goes down smoothly and it takes the edge off.

But I AM starting to realize that maybe I’m watching too much of this stuff and I need a reality check. When I scan through my list of recorded shows, it looks something like this:

The Amazing Race. This actually doesn’t qualify for crappy reality TV. I love this show. And I’m determined to get on it with Bill. With my brains and his beauty, we could totally win!

Rock of Love Bus. I’ve chronicled my love for this show on my blog before, but really, it bears repeating. Bret Michaels and his mid-life crisis rock. Yes, the chicks are skanky and not so bright, and they frequently get stinking drunk, but for some reason it’s my crack. I need my fix every Sunday morning.

Celebrity Rehab 1&2/Sober House: It’s basically like Celebrity Intervention. Dr. Drew gets a lot of crap for selling out but there is some good advice in there and he doesn’t make it pretty or tie things up in a neat package.

The Real Housewives of Orange County/New York/Atlanta. They’re casting for a Las Vegas version. You know these women are gonna be more gaudy awesome than the Atlanta Housewives.

The Girls Next Door: Holly, Kendra and Bridget have all left Hef, and I actually shed a tear. Hef suddenly looked old without the girls. It won’t be the same with the new twins (nope, not a euphemism).

Ru Paul’s Drag Race: Ru is more fierce than Heidi Klum any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Dancing With The Stars: It’s back! And it’s got Steve-O, Little Kim, the Naked Guy from the Sex & The City movie, and the usual selection of football players, Olympic athletes and Z-List “stars” (that’s you, Denise Richards).

Top Chef: It’s got drama, knives, good food and snarky judges.

• American Idol: I tried to stay with it this season, but I decided to break up with it a couple of weeks ago. I just can’t do it. It does nothing for me. Delete.

You know it’s bad when your reality show collide. Holly Madison and the dumped chick from The Bachelor on DWTS? Is this show becoming the consolation prize for reality stars?

This list, by the way, doesn’t even cover the real TV I watch. Seeing it in print is a little scary. Acknowledgement is the first step, right?

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16 Responses

  1. I can’t believe you don’t watch America’s Next Top Model. It’s the BEST. Seriously.

    Love the whole Real Housewives franchise.

    • I’m not sure why, but I’ve never gotten into the model or fashion design shows. I think I hate Tyra Banks for one thing…

  2. I’m so happy I don’t have cable or I’d be afraid to turn my TV on.

  3. There is nothing that brings joy to my life like Rock of Love: Bus. Oh how I love that train wreck!

    • It’s spectacularly skanky this seaon! I am so thrilled that Heather will be back this week. I like her bitchy ways!

  4. LOL…..I love tv, sigh.

  5. Oh Give AI another shot. The Top 13 is pretty good, Tatiana would of made it more entertaining to watch, but the 13 actual has talent.

    Amazing Race – My brother and I want to go on this show so bad! Maybe we can race together and act like BFFs than we can u-turn each other and pretend like we did not do it. 🙂 Rooting for Luke and Margie this season, down with the Asian lawyer pair, they annoy me (well he annoys me).

    Ru Paul’s Drag Race – LOVE LOVE LOVE. Sad Ongina is gone, rooting…please don’t let Shannel win, hoping for Nina Flowers, but Ross wishes she would stop wearing pant suits.

    Top Chef – you know I loves my Top Chef will be with one this Friday.

    My Adds:

    ANTM – can’t get enough of Mr and Mrs. Jay, plus I love Nigel Barker. Should would be A+ if we replaced Tyra with a real drag queen.

    Make me a Supermodel – Love that they have guys on there and for the most part half naked (though this years batch is a little to Twinkish for me).

    Top Design – Can’t wait for the next season

    Project Runway – A little sad that we may never see this season’s show because of the BRUHAHA between Bravo and Lifetime.

    Next Food Network Star – just fun to watch.

    The Rachel Zoe Project – Totally Bananas over her!

    • Okay, Percy, you’re just as bad as I am, and you’re a responsible adult with a child, too!

      I loved Rachel Zoe when I caught it, but I was too embarrassed to record it. I watched Food Network Star—I was totally a fan of Aaron—but I lost track of if it’s back on. I never really got into Project Runway even though I loved it when I caught it.

      I’m behind on Ru Paul, but I’m sorry about Ongina. How funny would it be to both be on Amazing Race!!

  6. I’d like to see TV executives get really creative and cross promote reality TV…

    Dancing with the Next Food Network Star

    Ru Paul’s Amazing Race.

    The Top Chef Next Door:

    American Idol Rehab

    • Well, Celebrity Rehab is sort of American Idol Rehab already. They’ve had two former Idol girls on there so far, so I guess I’m already watching that one. And I’d absolutely tune in to the others. Can you imagine Ru Paul’s Amazing Race? That would rock my world!

  7. Two former idol girls are in rehab? I had no idea. They’ll need to get cleaned up ASAP if they’re going to be in top physical shape for Ru Paul’s Amazing Race.

  8. What? No SuperNanny or Wife Swap?

    Your tastes are entirely too refined, m’dear.

    • Never got into Super Nanny, but I did some time with Wife Swap. They lost me with the Wiccan with the stripper pole in her family room. Not that there’s anything wrong with being Wiccan or a stripper….or a Wiccan stripper.

      • What, you don’t want to watch someone yell in a British accent?

        Anyway, I was being, ahem, snarky. I haven’t watched t.v. in months (too cheap to pay for cable), and I miss it.

        I’m livin’ vicariously through you, Mo!

  9. You can watch almost anything on Hulu.com or YouTube. It makes me kind a sick to think about what our DirecTv costs each month.

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