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Insert Foot in Mouth. Choke. Hard.

I have been known to put my foot in my mouth on more than one occasion. Sometimes I will say something because it’s funny and even though I don’t mean any harm, I cross the line trying to get a laugh. Other times I say something and have no idea there’s a line at all.

Like today.

I was in a meeting with a client and somehow we started talking about Dancing With The Stars. It started innocently enough—Do you watch? Sure. Then she asked who my favorite celebrity dancer was. I was sort of non-committal and said I like Shawn Johnson and, oddly enough, the poor dumped chick from The Bachelor. The client asked, “Well, what about the football player? What about the guy from the Sex and the City movie?” And on down the list. Everyone in the group—not just me—had a snarky comment about all the celebs. Until she got to a certain celebrity. Then she asked about one of the female celebs and I said, “Nah, she should get voted off next week.”

“Really?” she asked. “Why?”

“Well, she looked uncomfortable and appeared to be about as flexible as a Barbie Doll.”

This got a huge laugh from the group, including this woman’s boss, who hired us for the job we were meeting about.

Until the woman I was speaking with said, “Hu. Well, she’s my friend.”

At which point I sort of laughed, like, yeah, okay, right.

“No, really, she is,” she said. “And my husband represents her.”

The look of panic was pretty obvious on my face, and I stared at my boss, like “Fuck, help me.” He laughed it off at first, until it was clear she was pissed.

Then I got pissed, and pretty much seethed quietly through the rest of the meeting.

I felt set up. She deliberately asked about this person last, after everyone chimed in with equally snarky comments about the other celebs, and I stupidly took the bait. Her co-workers obviously knew of the connection, but clearly I didn’t.

I forget that in the industry I’m now working in, it’s never out of the real of possibilities that people know people. And as my husband reminded me tonight, you never say a negative word about anyone no matter what. For that very reason.

“Phil Spector? Yeah, he’s an okay guy.”

“Robert Blake? Sure, he’s cool. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. Neither would OJ Simpson.”

So now I’m alternately pissed off and worried that she’ll hold a grudge.

I should have just shut the fuck up and made polite, non-controversial conversation.

Lesson learned.

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11 Responses

  1. Ugh. Screw that. She totally set you up for that one.

    I wonder how many others she’s set up – and in the same way, I bet?

  2. how funny! so, who is the celeb?

  3. Shit Mo! What an ass that person was that was so intent on setting you up. It was obvious to you; it would be just as obvious to everyone else present. No sweat.

    By the way, I’m not making any friends constantly saying that I am sure that Angelina Jolie will once again be wearing a bloody necklace – there is no way this woman is sane….

  4. Grrrr! How dare she set you up like that? I swear, I am so tired of people lately.

    I know what it feels like to taste my toes as well. I always feel like such an ass but what can you do other than sputter an apology and try to forget it? We all do it… We all, however, do NOT set up someone to feel bad. So NOT cool on her part.

  5. Well she did ask you for your opinion and well, you could have said something much worse. It was mean of her to set you up like that.

  6. If that’s the closest you’ve ever gotten your foot to your mouth, you have nothing to worry about. It all seems so petty and a tad bizarre to me, but then I’m not working in your industry in your part of the world. (You have a meeting about DWTS???)

  7. Just because that B-celebrity was her friend doesn’t make her off limits to public scrutiny. She’s on a TV show, for Christ’s sake. It comes with the territory, and she may indeed get booted off the show, and then you’ll be vindicated, right?

    People are just too serious about dumb shit these days. On your behalf, I give the issue a big “so what” on my scale of things to worry about. There, you’re free. Go forth and be happy. 🙂

  8. I still think what you said wasn’t even that bad, anyway. “As flexible as a Barbie doll” is better than, say, “Crack Whore” or “Super Slut” or…ya know. (Wow. I am great with insults, aren’t I?) You really could have said waaaaaay worse. This chick who set you up was a beyotch and I am totally sure you’re not the first person she pulled this on. Hell. I bet she’s done it have a dozen times since!!

  9. Smooth like sandpaper. No, really, that takes some skill…

  10. Well maybe she should have not asked the question, she never knows how people will feel about her celebrity friend…please. She’ll get over it and if she doesn’t want a truthful answer, don’t ask!

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