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It’s pretty simple….

The elevator door opens, people on the inside of the elevator step out, then the people on the outside of the elevator can step in.

When I step out of the elevator don’t rush in, don’t stand in front of the door so I can’t get out. Move your ass to the side and wait your turn.

While we’re talking about elevator etiquette, let’s go over a few more rules:

1. Don’t shout into your cell phone, especially when you’re standing about an inch away from my ear.

2. Put your overstuffed backpack on the floor—or at least somewhere where it won’t knock me over. If you insist on wearing it anyway, don’t swing back and forth so you can whack me repeatedly. I WILL cut a hole in the bottom so all your shit drops out.

3. Don’t press the Close Door button when you see me running toward the elevator. That’s just rude. And karma is a bitch.

Anything I missed?

UPDATED: Please don’t bogart the buttons in the elevator. Press your floor and step away. They don’t belong to you. (This post updated courtesy of my trip down to my car after work.)


10 Responses

  1. Be polite, don’t pass gas until you’ve left the lift.

  2. Percy – Sorry bout that.

    Today I pressed the Open Door button when I saw someone coming. I believe in karma.

  3. I once saw this hilarious social experiment….I dunno, on some show somewhere, where a bunch of people got into an elevator and then kept facing toward the back – no one turned around. Then they rode up and down and waited to see what new people getting on would do. All new riders were so confused by this totally simple thing but somehow felt compelled to follow suit. (HOW WOULD YOU KNOW WHEN IT WAS YOUR FLOOR?) I don’t know why such a thing would be so funny, but I laughed my ass off….and still remember to this day. Years later.

    Okay. Only loosely related. Although maybe pranking people in an elevator is kinda bad manners? (NO IT’S NOT IT’S FUNNYFUNNYFUNNY!)

  4. I wrote a 500 word article on the rules of elevating once. I’d post it here, but people would probably hate me a little bit for it.

    One point is this. Pushing the button outside the elevator again and again and again does not make it arrive any faster.

  5. I’m with Neat Things on that one. It boggles my mind that someone can watch me push the elevator button and then step over and repush it. I make no claims to be very bright — but I have mastered the art of button pushing.

  6. Here’s a little tip for elevator riders: The designers of some elevators include a hidden feature that is very handy if you’re in a hurry or it’s a busy time in the building (like check-out time in a hotel). While some elevators require a key, others can be put into “Express” mode by pressing the “Door Close” and “Floor” buttons at the same time. This sweeps the car to the floor of your choice and avoids stops at any other floor.

    What I have found is if you hold both button for 3-5 seconds it works better.

  7. I don’t miss the elevator. I used to work in a 50 floor building. There was always one crazy every morning. There really should be an elevator conduct book.

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