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Multitasking Is Overrated

Dear Asshole in the Pontiac Grand Prix,

When you are behind the wheel of a car, especially one careening down the freeway at 75 mph, please actually pay attention to what you’re doing, fucktard. This is not the time for you to pick up your cell phone, fumble around and dial without your earpiece while you simultaneously light your cigarette and pick your nose. Because what usually happens happened. You suddenly looked up, realized you had no idea what the fuck was going on in front of you and slammed on your brakes. Hard. With smoke and everything. This, of course, made me slam on my brakes, swerve into the adjacent lane and pray like holy hell that the semi in the next lane had dropped back to let me in.

You are a fucktard and should have your license revoked.

Signed,

The Bitch in the Blue Car

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7 Responses

  1. Its always a pontiac, the worst for me are the Grand Am’s, guaranteed douche bag.

  2. Err…I saw your FB message to Larry M. that he missed saying hello to you from his car yesterday. I can only assume that he doesn’t drive a big-ass car.

    Because if he did…he’d be smoking out the wrong end by now.

  3. I don’t know how ya’ll do that driving around thing every day. Stuff like this scares the crap out of me. I would be replaying the whole thing in my head over and over…”what if there hadn’t been room in front of the semi…” “what if I hadn’t been paying attention in that split second…” “what if the asshole had looked up a split second later…” shudder…

    • Believe me, I’d take the bus and/or train if our transportation system was any good. To get from where I live to work would take 15 transfers and 6 hours. Sadly, it’s gotten to the point where 30 minutes of pure terror is preferable to that.

  4. I wasn’t picking my nose, I was scratching it.

    -Fucktard in Pontiac

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