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Really, I Have No Idea Why I’m Not Sleeping Well

This is clearly the post of a sleep-deprived person.

I haven’t really slept well lately. I don’t think I’m under an usual amount of stress and there’s nothing life or death about the things I think about. I just can’t shut my head off and get some rest.

Here’s a rundown of my night.

10:00 p.m. Totally exhausted so I climb into bed and sink into my comfy mattress. I prop my pillows up behind my head and watch TV for a few minutes until my eyelids feel so heavy I can’t hold them open.

10:15 p.m. Turn off the TV, turn off the lights, settle into bed and close my eyes.

10:17 p.m. Doze off.

10:20 p.m. Wide awake. Make a mental reminder to grab my iPod in the morning so I can take it to work.

10:21 p.m. Speaking of work, did I remember to send that e-mail before I left? Think about what I need to do when I first get into the office.

10:35 p.m. Think about how much traffic there’s been in the morning and wonder if I should get up a little earlier.

10:36 p.m. Get cranky about having to wake up earlier and vow to just get ready faster in the morning.

11:00 p.m. Remind myself to grab that book before I leave for work because I need to use it as reference for something I’m working on.

11:05 p.m. Realize I will never remember to grab it in the morning, get up, find it and put it by my keys.

11:20 p.m. Let the dog out.

12:00 a.m. Let the dog in.

12:10 a.m. Remember to pay the power bill tomorrow (which is now today).

12:30 a.m. Roll over and pull a pillow over my head to block out Bill’s snoring.

12:50 a.m. Take pillow off my head because it’s hot.

1:00 a.m. Get irritated because I’m still awake and can’t go to sleep.

1:01 a.m. Wonder if it’s too late to take a Tylenol PM. Maybe just one? Probably not a good idea.

1:02 a.m. Will myself to sleep, but the more I do that, the more awake I become. Maybe I should take up meditation? Or yoga?

1:04 a.m. Wonder when I would ever find the time to do yoga since I barely use my gym membership.

1:05 a.m. When did I go to the gym last?

1:15 a.m. Wonder when I’m going to find time to go to Target this week.

1:16 a.m. Mentally make list of stuff I need to get at Target: toilet paper, paper towels, hardwood floor cleaner, soap…

1:17 a.m. Contemplate getting out of bed to write up my target list. And maybe a grocery list.

1:19 a.m. Wonder if I have enough toilet paper to last through the weekend if I can’t get to Target during the week. Maybe I can go Thursday night?

1:21 a.m. Nope. Not Thursday. I have to take Gracie to agility that night.

1:22 a.m. Wonder why the special leash and collar I ordered for Gracie to wear for agility hasn’t shown up yet. Wonder when I ordered it. Hmmm, should be here by now. They usually send orders pretty quickly.

1:30 a.m. Wonder if it’s too late to take shot of NyQuil to knock me out.

1:40 a.m. Let the dog out.

2:00 a.m. Let the dog in.

2:15 a.m. Maybe a half shot of NyQuil?

2:20 a.m. Frustrated because I can’t sleep. Think about everything I have to do this weekend. Things that don’t involve sleeping in. Or even being home much.

2:30 a.m. Hope I get off work on time Thursday night because I have to drive home, pick up Gracie and drive her 40 minutes away to agility.

2:35 a.m. Plan what I need to take to agility. Make backup plan in case new leash doesn’t show up.

2:40 a.m. Doze off.

3:30 a.m. Hear Bill wake up and go into the other room because he can’t sleep.

3:31 a.m. Wonder if my not sleeping is keeping Bill from sleeping.

3:35 a.m. Listen to the coffee pot grind the coffee and wonder why that damn machine makes so much fucking noise.

3:36 a.m. But damn, it makes some good coffee.

3:48 a.m. Do I have enough dog shampoo to bathe Gracie on Friday night? She has a show on Saturday and I have to groom her.

3:49 a.m. Do I have all of her dog show stuff together? Do I need to wash her bowls? Where is her lead?

4:45 a.m. Let the dog out.

6:40 a.m. Let the dog in.

6:50 a.m. Alarm goes off.

7:10 a.m. Get out of bed, totally trashed from not sleeping.

8:25 a.m. Leave the house late. Again. Too tired to get ready on time.

Is it just me or is anyone else—other than Bill—stressed to the max over nothing at all?

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7 Responses

  1. i get that way alot and it is so annoying. For me it is usually an indicator that I accidentally got slipped some caffeine or ate too much sugar (I am highly sensitive), but it also happens if I’m going out of town (packing lists) or moving (placing furniture in our new house mentally), etc. My mom calls it “when the hamsters get to running,” which doesn’t help at all, but at least gives it a name. next time, take the Tylenol PM right as you go to bed and you’ll be back to normal sleep schedule in no time. sweet dreams!

  2. OMG! I’m exhausted just reading all of that!! You poor thing. Get a prescription for Ambien. It’s awesome. Also, keep some paper by your bed and write some stuff down. It will be out of your brain and you might be able to relax.

  3. I will tell you what has worked for me – Restoril. It’s kind of like a super-strength Valium. (Google “tamezepam” or “Restoril”, and you can get the full scoop.)

    It sort of shuts down all that stuff in your head. Believe me, my friend, I could have written this entry, except all the stuff about Gracie, replace with stuff about my kids. Oh, and add in reliving humiliating childhood moments like the time Michelle Petersen found my diary in my locker and distributed it to the entire class.

    So, yeah. I get where you’re coming from here. Try Restoril, and see if that helps.

  4. First: DITCH THE DIGITAL CLOCK.

    And, welcome to Mena-stop. You’re a bit young but this is a good lesson for you little Babe.

    Some help: I have a pen & pad on my nightstand and a guest room that seems to do the trick when my husband keeps breathing, without effort, deep in sleep. It’s the guest room or the pillow goes over his head.

    Make it a Two-Martini night!
    Eve

  5. Are you getting enough physical activity in your day? Whenever I don’t get out for a run or to the gym or at least a good walk during the day, I have a night like this. Your brain is tired, but your body isn’t so it’s keeping the brain frantically awake.

    • I don’t get enough activity during the day. I know that’s part of it. I used to work out regularly—even if I just jumped on the treadmill for 20 minutes—but I haven’t made the time in a while to do that. I’m a little burned out on work and it’s become easier to go home and ride the couch instead of walking or working out.

  6. I would leave a comment here, but I have go go take a nap right now as I AM TOTALLY EXHAUSTED AFTER READING THIS.

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